Abduction (2011) –  John Singleton (Dir.), Taylor Lautner, Lily Collins, Maria Bello, Jason Isaacs, Alfred Molina, Sigourney Weaver, Michael Nyquist, Dylan McDermott

I think e.e. cummings wrote that tagline during his CAPITALS period.

I think e.e. cummings wrote that tagline during his CAPITALS period.

In our second episode (well, third, but we got WAAAAAAAAY too drunk to show our episode on Mirror Mirror) we explore the brilliant, genre-defining, ab-defying, franchise-igniting epic that is Taylor Lautner’s Abduction. Erin’s choice may or may not have fried our brains out of our earholes. From random white men getting shot in the face to a surprise cameo from Not-The-Rock, this movie was everything that we never wanted. How many times can you claw out your own eyes?

Will this cinematic treat lead to a second, ab-ier Bourne trilogy? Can Taylor Lautner act? How many drugs was Maria Bello on during filming? Why is Lucius Malfoy a good guy? Was Alfred Molina in any movies where his spinal cord is inextricably attached to four metal arms that try to kill Tobey Maguire? All the answers you seek lie in our second episode of our award winning (not really) webseries, Whine & Cheese.

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